Monday, August 29, 2005 / 8:57 AM
i needed an avenue to pour my anger and bloody sorrow...
am i like a free port...where ppl come and go?? liken to a ship stopping at a port fer fuel replenshing and blah...guess i m back to the old state of recovery frm another person i feel for...and it end made use as a cushion...
quoting the person's words....i want to start a afresh but but but but......wont it be easier if i wasnt there....hayoh u already noe ur stoopid ans WHY WHY WHY ON EARTh u wasted my time? heLLO i m human tOOO...i have something that beats too...and something that feels....anywayz i dunnoe wats gonna happen...now i m here pouring my stoopid feelings which i noe NO ONE...i mean NO one will noe and bother to care how i feel....god help me...i m sick of falling in love again...and then getting thrown out of itn FER NO APPARENT REASON!!!! ;(
Sunday, August 28, 2005 / 11:21 AM
*********************i love/Hatez mY life*******************
i m starting to realise that my life aint that lucky...
i fell in love....Right
the guy i fell in love needs time to get over his girl.....Given
his ex calling him and asking him back........I DUNNOE WHAT TO DO...
he not letting go.....Beyond my control
he asking me to wait....i will
But wat if he neber comes back....will i ever be able to take it?
i dunnoe i juz known him fer like 3 weeks now...i starting to fall in love Or like with him day by day..
gee and i m hooked onto the remix of my cousin song..by madonna and sum other guy....argh i think thats the only song i hear everyday..
plz angel of fate if he's meant to be then dun snatch him awayz frm me? plz...
Saturday, August 20, 2005 / 7:06 AM
*************************SHiTZ*************************
nice heading fer a blog right?bleh...well okie think i m in deep shit now..why??
i think i am having a major crush...oh god..why..hahaz i have been have countless amount of crushes but this is the strongest i ever had since .............(shant brag about him here)..the worst part of of this is that i am afaird i mite juz fall in love juz liked i did about a year ago...NOOOOOooooo i dont what that to happen..i am soo darn afaird of going thru wat i went..okies well theres a 90% that it wouldnt end like the way the first and last ended but then u cant blame me fer being scared?anywayz well maybe on the other hand,the crush mite juz fade awayz...but there's juz something about this someone that has much i wanna run awayz and avoid all of it,the more i get attracted back...bleh...thank god his not in my class...well even if he was then the situation wont be the same la...everything happens fer a reason i pressume..haiz
anywayz my handphone is completely SILENT TODAY!!! no one msged me except fer *superman* that was because i msged him to ask fer WEBA...but then other than that it's DEAD SILENT (IRONIC)...hey singtel is there sumthing wrong wif the network or is that no one bothers to msg me todae??
okie okie...i shall buzz off now n dwell into *dear webA*...meanwhile..me waiting patiently fer the next time when i m gonna hear frm that someone..crosses finger and hope sOOn..
LoVehaTez
Thursday, August 18, 2005 / 7:23 AM
SarongPartyGirl..The lastest talk of the town...or shall i say the small little blinking red dot->Singapore.Let me see...Re
Sunday, August 14, 2005 / 10:55 PM
"why are your nick alwayz soo sad?" thats what my cousin asked me yesterdae...Suddenly i felt a pinch manz...I started pondering and questioning myself why too...well maybe i m juz feeling soo...i do feel happy inside sometimes, but sometimes on the other hand i juz feel off balance...maybe coz i m blogged down wif lotsa work...And my cuz was like telling me that he's in love..on cloud nine...woahz...soo fast...hmmz well thats gd fer him then..
like i have said i m gonna wait till the rite one comes and make sure he stays till the end of time..hmmz well think abt it...if i happen to have A Bf now...wich means to say in poly...after we graduate, his gonna go army..hahaz serve the nation..then i shall be alone all over again fer 2 yrs...no more meeting everyday and ya...soo its gonna be rather hard...well if loves sparks then ya...if not i m juz gonna wait till i m in university...(like how my parents alwayz wanted it) well maybe wen i start working?(better still) '-_-...
had a talk wif my mum today...and she was like asking me whether was she controlling me too much...Hmmz and as u can guess wats my answer would be...i juz smiled and say nope...maybe a little but then i told her i understand how she feels..then she told me that shes afaird that shes controlling to much..she told me that shes afaird to lose my love...hahaz common ma..I LOVE U ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT...she brought up the past wen i neglected my family fer that ass...and shes afaird that it mite happen again..hahaz i was like..hey that was my first..and der i wont do that again...the next time i m in love its gonna be wif ya consent..so no more hiding?
My mum asked..."why are youngsters nowadays alwayz falling in love at this unripe age?""why dun they noe that they have plenty of time in the future.." they are wasting their time and blah blah" haiz another pinch there...wonder how many more pinches i m gonna get?
Naturally i would have shugged my shoulder and reply i dunnoe...but today i was like gonna tell her the fact of why youngsters are in and out of love.. so i started blabbering..
I started by saying that they thing that they are ready..and the main reason would be that they had sumone to confine too alwayz...coz parents are bz and blah...all they need is love (TLC) and reassurance...those that not all parents are able to give? after saying that...she turned and looked at me and asked "soo do u get all u need frm ask" and i replied yes i do..thats why i dun need a BF? hahaz its half true la...its true i get all the love frm my family but aint it nice to have someone special...well not yet i guess...
basically have been reallie lousy this weekend...have been having crying spells once in a while...well maybe i juz lost and lonely inside..hahaz havent reason emotional karma...well soon la...will get back on track..ahahz allot of ppl expecting frm me..and me myself too...soo ya...
okie i got to BUZZ off now...projects.. :D
Saturday, August 13, 2005 / 9:52 PM
my heart's in pieces likened to my Bloody phone...my phone that i havent been able to be separated from coz of the msgs is finally in pieces...AND ya i mean literally in pieces...haiz....thats the end part of the story i m abt to tell..
on friday i went to kranji's 10th year anniversary at NTU's Nanyang Auditorium...hahaz lets skip the long journey there....if not the story wont end...okie soo got there and saw many familiar faces....Mr Tan,Mr Chua,Ms Joseph,Mrs Amba,Mrs Ram,Mdm Normala,Mr Siah,Ms Sim and lotsa more...woahz it was nice manz seeing all my cher all over again...i suddenly felt like a kranjian once again...hmmz miss those days manz...hahaz Ms Sim looked soo sweet and she praised my eyes...'-__- and she was like you are getting prettier Sunita...i was huhz...hmmz okie thats that....hmmz Mr Ashley Tan was nice toking to too...while toking to him,flashes of moments in class wen i was in SEC 1...he teaches us English & History...Nice memories manz...okie lets drift awayz from memory lane for a while...
the play was nice...serious brought me back to those days wen i was in secondary sch..the innocent me going up to the podium in the morning giving out morning accouncement to the thousands of student on the mike...hahaz haiz..okie...the dansical was nice...but juz abit niches here and there...oh ya and a insult to IT too....the slides were bad manz...well thats juz a comment k
anywayz it ended at ard 1030 at nitez...and then we made our way to the bus-stop and as usual it being late my mom started panicking again....soo she called and sms and called n sms...and i answered...well i m actually used o it...uderstands that shes over-protective but i tot maybe she wld be starting to let gO...common I M 18...hmmz let me see an 18 yr gal...shld be going shopping once in 2 weeks...a movie once in a while wif her frends and maybe out relazxing once a week??hmmz now my version of being 18....i leave hm frm sch in the morning...and then straight to sch...end sch at 6 or 7 and then Straight home...see the emphasis on the word straight??yes...i dun go to the nearby mall to destress nor do i go out on sat or sundae wif my frends...i m bascially hm and sch...if i go out it will be wif parents or juz to get stuff...which is rare...well i managed to adapt tot the situation coz i understand my mom...shes not ready to let me off...waiting patiently though...soo yesterdae was the first time in ages i was out wif frends this late..and soo ya...
soo everything went fine...until wen i was in 300 bus...hmmz i msged her telling her that i was in the bus and that the bus was full soo no need to worry...but then suddenly before alighting i got a call frm my dad...hmmz bad sign coz i tot my dad was aslp...soo i answered and he asked me where the hell i m...soo i swallowed and answered i was iN the bus...then i go down the bus and saw my dad n mom standing there...
so i walked up and my mom started asking..."why did u answer ur phone" i was like huhz? did u guys call?? then i said well no reception and maybe coz my phone is half dead??
then my dad took my phone and guess wat he did????
he looked at it and then SLAMMED IT DOWN onto the floor!! gee there it went...hahaz my heart sank like no ones business...tears started rolling dowm my cheeks...my msgs those msgs ALL GONE!!! oh gosh it reallie hurt manz..
went i got hm and went straight to the bathrOOm and cried!! =S hmmz well thats wat happpened becoz of no reception fer a few seconds...haiz..well i hope i will be like any other 18 yr gal soon enuf...well thats that la...life as it is...i hope now ppl will understand why i cant stay up soo late fer stuff.. :S
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 / 9:07 AM
heart thumping,and adrenaline rushes wenever i see this guy in schOOl...hmmz hes not particularly cute or wat so ever but he has that nice smile and that perfect goatie ;) machO too i shld add...hahaz but i guess thats juz gonna be a fantasy or a fairy tale story...one of those i have once in a while...its not that i m afaird to make frends wif him or i m juz too shy...its juz that theres no freaking rite chance for me...ps...he's one of my frends friends...that makes it even worse right?guess i juz got to keep mum and wait n c wat happens..(crosses finger n wait fer a miracle to happen)...hahaz or maybe twitch my nose?
anywayz saw my ex again a few daes ago...Twice someMore...hahaz one time he stared at me like NOBODY's Business...guess he was shock to see me...a change frm the last time he "duMped" me...well hahaz its ya lost not mine...maybe it juz wasnt the rite time huh..
the other time i saw him,i juz a few inches awayz frm him.... the stupiDest part was that i recongised him like miles awayz...hahaz juz by looking at his back.. maybe its juz that instinct that never fades awayz...as per usual he stole glances at me...wonder shld i be sad or happy...well thats juz one of those times wen u aint sure how u feel n bLahz...well wherever u r...i hope u r fine....hahaz ppl who noe wat happened to me..will think i m crazy to well-wish him...but hehez thats juz me...
anywayz went fer debates todae...did a shitty performance..maybe coz i m juz to stressed up with dear assignments and stuff...Btw i scored a gd mark fer my gems class..soo happy...cher said i toPped the class...how i wish that applies fer IT??
ps...if fate is kind enuf...plz help me make frends with this sumone...thanks...all i asking if a chance to be his frend.ThanK u..
k i got to head fer bed now...b4 my back yells more..
Monday, August 01, 2005 / 5:48 PM
Just got home from school..had 2 papers todae and bOY itEC was TouGH!! i feel like screaming manz...all those i memorised and understood like shit barely came out...and lotsa of the organisation of internet stuff were glorifying the paper...well i still wonder why do we need to learn all this organisation name fer? is it gonna be that we will be asked fer all this wen we are on our internship? okie dun wanna argue anymore...well i think i pretty stressed up now...hahaz well its usually coZ its EXAMz??
3 more papers to go...a killer mpRG...hope i can kill it and not it kill my grades...well thats juz that fer sch work...
toking abt life.... hmmz remember i wrote in my earlier post of me in the process of making frends wif sumone...well gee things juz neber seem to fall in the rite time...guess wat the person is undergoing a mAJOR crUsH!! i.e it makes it harder to make frends coz the persons mind is consistently on that crush...maybe thats juz fate...aint the rite time...maybe this person is juz gonna be sumone that juz passed my life fer juz a few mins?? gee...well thats juz a waste...still pondering on wat i shld do...shld i bother or juz let it go??hahaz wonder what me seek...
not oNLi that...todae i juz took out the letters frm the past...read them and i cant believe i was wat i was the other time...soo sweet,soo naive and BLAH...hahaz okie okie..maybe i m juz no longer in love soo i cant remember how it feels...hmmz that makes me wonder why will i ever fall in love again..hehez...no despo but i starting to wonder why do my crush last soo short...well maybe ma prince charming aint here yet??!! hmmz k...oh ya juz found out that one of my frends interested in me....eww thats scary...haha and not sumone i expect to like me........anywayz i gtg now...
have to hit my dearly awaited bOoKs..."screaming" " come and make full use of us" okie i noe thats lame...but Blah....
i shall be back sOOn enuf...
tataz